Abercrombie and Fitch: Compromising Principles

Anyone who thinks body image has only become an issue recently obviously didn't live during the time when corsets were almost a requirement for women. Anyone who thinks that only larger people have body image problems has never been skinny.

I remember talking to my grandmother about this twenty years ago. I was 16, 5'4” with DD breasts, and only weighed 90lbs. I was complaining because I had a hard time finding bras that fit. Actually, I couldn't find *any* that fit right. Bra companies just didn't make bras that fit a 32DD. (They barely make them for 34DD. And don't get me started on nursing bras!) She told me that I was shaped like her mother-in-law. Apparently, my great-grandmother had been skinny all her life. By the time she died, she weighed over 300 pounds. She was so happy to have some weight on her that once she finally started gaining weight, she just ate and ate to continue gaining weight. She died 34 years ago. Obviously, body image issues are not a new thing.

Less than two years later, I had to get a weight waver to join the Navy because, at 93 lbs, I was 3 pounds underweight. The Navy wanted to be sure I didn't have an eating disorder. I did not. I did have a crazy run away metabolism that I passed on to two of my three children. In bootcamp, I had another girl say to me, “How do you even walk around on those sticks?” I'll never forget that. I was flabbergasted. Why would you say something like that to someone?

My older brother was even skinnier than me. At the age of 19, he had a 24 inch waist and a 36 inch inseam. Looking back, I have no idea how my mother found pants that fit him. I'm pretty sure she didn't.

You see, my oldest two children wear sizes 27x32 and 24x32 respectively. The older one always goes up a waist size because he has large thighs and doesn't like to feel constricted. The younger one can only buy clothes at one store, and he's growing at a rate of about an inch a month right now, mostly in his legs, so I can't look forward to the fall.

This brings me to the reason for this post. Our family took a cruise in late April. I forced my older two children to buy pants that fit. We searched high and low to find a pair of khakis that would fit my 15 year old son. We finally found a pair at Abercrombie and Fitch. That's right. The pariah of stores. Of course, this was before all the hoopla, but when we got back, I planned to buy more pants for him. And suddenly, I have to decide whether to financially support a store that has openly stated they don't want fat people shopping there or not have clothes that fit my children. And believe you me, I would prefer to pay less for my growing boys' clothing!

It didn't take me long to make my decision. You see, other manufacturers, stores, and brands take an active stance on size every day. They don't come out and say, “You're not a large enough share of the market for us to make clothes for you,” but they sure do live it. If only a few brands would make things for skinny kids, I could make the choice to shop elsewhere.

But then something happened inside my head. I started thinking about Chic Fil A, Pro Life emergency room doctors, religious institutions mandating that no tubal libations will be performed in their hospitals, and businesses refusing to take part in gay weddings. I wondered what would have happened had Chic Fil A been the only grocery store in the area, instead of one fast food chain among many. I wondered whether or not a doctor would be held liable for not performing a life saving abortion if they were they only doctor at an emergency room. I wondered about the many babies that would be aborted because a religious institution refused to allow their mothers to have tubals while they were in the hospital to have a c-section. And I wondered what makes it okay for a person to make a business decision based on a religious belief, but not a personal dislike.

Suddenly, I realized that I could not shop at Abercrombie and Fitch anymore. I will have to take my business to our local tailor. I will not compromise my principles because it is the easy thing to do. Now, if only some of the other manufacturers would start making clothes for skinny people, I'd be happy. Not everyone is big *and* tall. Some are just tall. Maybe I need to talk to some basketball players.

Dominicism

"About 60% of my friends are girls. The rest are boys and minions."

The Daily Art

The only way to get better at something is to do it every day. I've decided to draw or paint every day so that I get better at them. When I asked the boys what to draw today, Gabriel immediately suggested beer. Since Guinness is Gary's favorite kind, it's what got drawn.

Finished Object Fridays

Jedi and Sith robes, a scarf, and a Doctor Who hat.

Work in Progress Wednesday

What can I say? Much of my knitting was put on hold to complete last minute Christmas gifts. Then, after that was done, we started ripping up our carpets. We're putting in hard wood in a couple weeks. One of the rooms we're replacing the flooring in is the library. The library has morphed into a library/music/craft room. After the floors are in, it will be my craft room. Since we were moving all the books anyway, I went through all them to figure out which ones we are keeping, which ones we are selling, and which ones we sent to my sister. I'm sure she's thrilled. I've already sent her one box. I'm working on another one. At any rate, because of the changes, our library is in chaos. Our floors are slowly being torn apart. That's okay. I'm thinking of the long term results. 

When I'm out of the house, I'm continuing work on my Thigh High Stripes and that lovely sweater is going to be a Bitter End.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

*Let it be noted that I am wearing surprisingly comfortable 5" heels that I only fell off of once all night. Xavier is actually the same height I am, while Gabriel is 7" taller.

Ways You Can Help a Deployed Soldier's Family

I know there are a lot of you out there who want to help a deployed soldier. While sending the soldiers letters, goody boxes, coffee, etc. are all wonderful ways to help and show you support, and I certainly don't want you to stop, I've thought of another way you can help. You can help those soldiers' families. One of the main concerns for a deployed soldier is his family. So, if we can help reduce some of that strain for him as well as for the family, we can say thank you to the soldier and his family.

a note:While I know that there are women/mothers/wives deployed, I am coming from the viewpoint of the wife, so that is the context I will use. Of course these suggestions can be used for men as well.

For people who live close by you: First, understand that no matter where you live, there is probably a family with a deployed soldier living near you. You may have to do some detective work to find them, but it can be done.

So, for the things you can do:
1.Tell them what a great wife and mother they are.
2. Tell them that you appreciate their sacrifice for their country.
3. When you go to the grocery store, call and ask if they need you to pick anything up for them. Then, let them pay you for their groceries. (One of the reasons people tell you they don't need anything is because people frequently refuse to let them pay for whatever it is they picked up, say milk.)
4. Do their grocery shopping for them.
5. Babysit.
6. Babysit overnight.
7. Have you son/daughter's youth group organize a Mom's Night Out for the local deployment spouses.  Do it for free as a community service project.
8. Take them a full meal. You know, a salad, spaghetti, corn, bread sticks, and banana pudding. Mom can provide water for the drinks.
9. Ask them if there is anything that needs to be done around the house.
10. Mow their lawn.
11. Rake their leaves.
12. Shovel their snow.
13. Call to chat.
14. Have them come over for a cup of tea.
15. Understand that some of them may be in denial that their husbands are in a war zone and not want to talk about the war.
16. Respect the fact that they may not want their children hearing about all the soldiers dying.
17. Give them a hug. When you're far from "home", you may not get a lot of adult human contact when your husband is gone.
18. Do their dishes.
19. Order them pizza.
20. Give them a big stack of paper plates, cups, etc.
21. Invite them to dinner, especially for the holidays.
22. Hang up or take down their Christmas lights.
23. Take their kids gift shopping, be it for a holiday, a birthday, or just because.
24. Take them out for coffee.

For those far away from your loved ones while their spouse is deployed:

1. Call them regularly.
2. Write.
3. Send flowers.
4. Visit.
5. If you can, have the kids visit you, alone.
6. Send them gift cards to their favorite places to eat.
7. Set up a grocery delivery service for them.

If anyone else has suggestions, please, post them. Remember, you can't wait for the spouse to ask you do something. She won't. She's strong. She's stubborn. Just call and ask if you can do one of these things, or anything else you can think of.