Friday, July 25, 2008


Today, I was thinking about control. The boys have different things they are controlled and motivated by. I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.

It seems to me that most people are either motivated by fear of bad consequences or anticipation of a reward. There are also people who are motivated by love.

Gabriel is mostly motivated by anticipation of a reward. Any outside motivation has to come from anticipation. Fear does not motivate him sufficiently. If there is a fear that motivates him, I haven’t found it.

Dominic is motivated by fear of bad consequences. He is more than willing to wash his plate and put it in the dishwasher now that he knows it will end up in his bed, if he doesn’t do so.

Xavier, however, is motivated neither by fear nor by anticipation. The only thing that motivates Xavier to change his mind is love. This will be a great asset to him as an adult. In the meantime, it is a challenge. I love this fact about him. I just wish he would give in a few extra times a week, just for me.

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