I'm not sure where to start in regard to my experience with Christianity. It was a long, sometimes painful, experience. The experience continued far past my personal search for G-d in Christianity. I have do desire to relive the experience, and I have no desire to denigrate any religion. So, instead of discussing in depth my experience with Christianity, I will give you an overview and a few observations.
First, I want to say that I obviously still have a very strong painful reaction to my experience with Christianity, or I wouldn't have difficulty discussing it.
I was raised in what can only be termed an Evangelical church. I began to question the religious beliefs of my parents when I was in elementary school. So far as I can remember, no one took my questions seriously. I was supposed to believe whatever the pastor taught me, and I was supposed to believe with blind faith. I asked questions that were not adequately answered- ever. By the time I was in high school, my faith was on full reverse. I tried so hard to believe what I was taught. After all, if I didn't I was going to go to hell. Hell is a fearful thing.
After I left home, I still pursued the Christian religion. I went to different churches. I visited many different churches with other sailors. I went to Chapel on Sundays. I read my Bible. Finally, after much soul searching, I decided it was time to move on.
Here are a few of the things I observed about Christianity. Please remember these are my observations of the churches and people I knew and know.
First, Christianity is a religion that is built on fear. Certainly, Christians talk about heaven a lot, but mostly they want to avoid hell. Avoiding hell is the main motivation.
Second, many of the Christians that I knew talked about peace in their souls. G-d gave them peace. But, when they weren't talking about that peace, they were talking about the hardship in their lives. They talked about the things they worried about. They spent large amounts of time grieving for and praying for those that were "lost." This is not peace.
Third, I have a problem with faith healing. I will not go into detail, again, about my problems with faith healing. If you would like to see what I have already written on the subject, please visit my previous post.
Finally, and perhaps most important, I truly believe that any religion that is based on fear is not truly what G-d would have us believe. Certainly, I have no scripture to back this up, but I am not a Christian.