Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Tell Your Daughter She's Beautiful

I know it's not politically correct, but I think we should tell our daughters they're beautiful.

I cannot remember being told I was pretty when I was growing up. People frequently commented on how beautiful my sister was, but no one ever told me I was pretty. I wasn't even the smart one; that was my older brother. Or the athletic one; that was my younger brother. I was the bossy one. I was the dependable one. I was the messy one.

After I grew up, still no one ever told me I was pretty. I finally broke down and asked my husband if he thought I was pretty, after 14 years of marriage. I'm pretty sure he was flabbergasted. He just never realized I didn't know he thought I was pretty.

Then, one day, I realized that I'm not pretty. I'm freaking beautiful.
My eyebrows are, well, untamable. Probably because I choose not to tame them. I never keep them plucked. I have way too many other things to do, and I don't have a good pair of tweezers. My spirit is wild, too. I just dare anyone to try to tame it. You see, I decided long ago that I am worth being. I am amazing just the way I am. I'm going to keep me this way.
My eyes aren't a perfect blue or brown. Instead, they're this messed up, crazy hazel color that changes and mutates based on my mood. Just like me. I'm a little messy, but mostly when I'm creating. And I'm dynamic. I morph and change, and it's wonderful.

My nose isn't this cute, pert little thing. Did you know, when I was a teenager, I wanted a nose job? My brothers teased me constantly about the size of my nose. It's not small, you know. And it turns red in the cold. Rudolph red. But a few years ago, I realized my nose was my own, and my face would look different if I had a different nose, and I'm sort of attached to the way my face looks. Besides, I'm quite good at giving the royal commands. So, it is only appropriate that my nose be of regal proportions.
My lips are amazing. They're not perfectly symmetrical. They're not plump. They're a bit faded. But, have you seen what they can do? They form words. Words, I tell you! They form words that can change minds and lives. They can bring people to a cause. They can smile! Oh, the smiles they smile. Did you know that a smile can bring not only joy to the bearer, but to those around them?
My skin is not unblemished, but neither is my soul. I have scars, worry lines, and laugh wrinkles. I have  emotional wounds that may never heal properly, deep chasms of pain, and memories so sweet they cover all the pain.

All my parts are beautiful. But I am the sum of more than my parts. I am even more beautiful than my parts put together. Because I am a woman who knows herself to be beautiful. A beauty that is not dependent on physical attributes, or someone else's idea of beauty. I will always be beautiful.

Tell your daughter she's beautiful. Because she is. So beautiful.


  1. This is so beautiful! Thanks to your work on A Wrinkle in Time, I found my way to this post. What a treasure! Thanks for sharing.

  2. I'm sort of at a loss for words. This post is beyond beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  3. You are pretty and even though you didn't realize it until we married 14 years, I've always thought you were pretty.

    I enjoyed the post, but then again, I always enjoy your posts.

  4. Thank you so much, guys. I'm glad I was able to get across the message I was going for!


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